71th

You said you were serious and so I believed. then after you said it isn't that serious and so I believed, again. I don't think I'm naive because I trust you, a lot. but time after time, I felt that my trust was so betrayed. And this feeling kinda........................... suck. The suckish feeling of having to believe all the words that come out from your mouth, to feel sorry/upset for you and then getting all fucked up because whatever happened was just a joke is really annoying. suck it up Joelyn.

9 weeks down 3 more weeks to go!!!!! I fucking cannot wait for this semester to end. School, why you so tough. nevertheless, I'll conquer you, as always. Race day is on the 28th!!!! its been wayyyyy too long since I've ran 16km. WAY TOO LONG. At least I wouldnt have to die alone, fersure :) h3HE. I miss having fun already :( come 5th dec!!!!!!! love gaia, treat animals well, baiiii <3 

Summer vibe,

I've been burying myself with my notes. Planned to work out for the entire recess week but my brain cannot tank :(  Dear brain/body/mind, please bear with it for another 9 weeks. I promise I'll treat you well after finals, as for the time being, don't die on me. I need you all healthy. 

So.... for the past few weeks.. I got myself a..

2 star kayak cert, mad uneven tans, ukulele and some great laughter. my friends are too awsum. do I sound bored? am trying my best not to though. guess I suck at blogging now huh :( BOOOOOO. I lost you, my blogging soul. come back.

anyways! heard this over the radio! love at first note. you guys should too! 

guess my boys are coming over this weekend to have some fifa fun! weeeeeeeee, treat others kind, till then :)

#i hate the fact that i cannot fix this. why so screwed, human. why cant i see then, why now. 

I'm never gonna win this. But I'm not giving up just yet. 2 months isn't short nor long but its enough, enough for this. 

Fight

There's a point in life when you struggle, when you're on the verge of giving up on something you longed for... a point in life when you're fighting for something/someone which to you, is everything.

I have to admit, I didn't fight enough. all because I know you'll be there for me, regardless. But I forgot that you're only human.... sorry, I thought you were everything wonderful.

I know you deserve better, you know you deserve better. but I thought love conquers all odds? why are you giving up on me.

I'll be lying if I said I wasn't hurt. Because deep down, I was still hoping that you'd let me fight for us. Can anyone tell me, how am I supposed to fight for something when its no longer there.

At least my endless before-bed-time struggle has finally come to a conclusion.

Happy 33th, my love.

Annoyed.

Ok, so I've got this call from a guy two days ago... a married guy with kids to be exact.

Fill you guys in more about this erm, person.

He's my friend's mentor or something like that. He sent me a friend's request on fb last year I guess, but I rejected his friend's request. Well, reason being, one I DONT KNOW HIM and two, I DONT KNOW HIM. All I know is that he's my friend's mentor or someone she/he looked up to, THATS ALL. I've NEVER met him, or even communicate to him in ANY way. Maybe my friend did mention about me once or twice to him but thats all. so anws, after the immediate rejection, he fb message me, telling me more about him and yadah yadah stuff. Then I was like " HELLO SIR ISNT IT CLEAR ENOUGH THAT I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND OR TO EVEN KNOW YOU BETTER?? ". so being already annoyed by his forever on-going introduction about himself, me being annoyed, I just replied him a "fuck off". I don't know if its the generation gap or what but the hell, he didn't stop la. he continued blabbering about his nonsense that I'm rude and all. like hello, isn't it obvious that I don't want to be friends with you when I rejected your friend's request? AND you're harassing me la OMG. fucking annoying. the thought of it can make me kill. ok so i thought that was that.

but a year later.........
BOOBSMXCS

ok so two days back, I was having lunch with jiaqi then some anonymous number called. I don't usually pick up unknown numbers but I dont know what got into me then and I decided to pick that call.

Person: " Hi this is Jo?"
Me: "say what?"
Person: "Is this Jo?"
Me: "erm, this is Joelyn speaking"
Person: "oh hi I'm (his name)"


In my head I'm like DAFUQ. HOW HE GOT MY NUMBER. but I decided to be nice and replied him in the nicest manner I could. I swear I would win Miss Nice 2012. He was telling me about my friend being all sad and stuff and want me to go over to find my friend to make sure that my friend won't do silly stuff. He WANTS me to accompany my friend. But i told him that I couldnt because I'll be having my lectures soon (NOT LYING). Despite so, he kept insisting and telling me about my friend's issue that I've NEVER heard my friend mention about. IRRITATING MUCH.

HELLO PERSON. My friend decided to turn to you so why did you even call me? I believed that my friend had reasons why he/she turned to you and not me. If she/he needed my help she/he would have called me PERSONALLY, told me about her/his issues ON HER/HIS OWN ACCORD and asked me go to over if he/she needs company. If she/he did that, I'd be MORE THAN WILLING to do it. But thing is, he/she DIDNT. So for fuck you telling me about her/his problems that I've never hear her/him telling me about? If you're SO afraid of her/him having silly intentions then why don't you head down to school and find her/him instead? WHY CALL ME? You think I have the time for your nonsense? Fuck, you're at least 20 years older than me can't you fucking think?!

After hanging the damn phone, he whats app me. asking me to go over to accompany my friend. Sorry my man but I don't buy your story. I fucking wanted to give him a sarcastic "Don't worry, God will protect my friend" reply because I WAS THAT MAD.  he's a believer in Christ. (fyi I mean no offense to anyone. Having a faith in god is good, keeps the soul alive but I was really mad at him) BUT I DIDNT. See, told you I could have win Miss Nice 2012 given my character.

I didn't asked my friend about her/his erm... "condition". Not that I don't care but c'mon .. if he/she wants to tell me, he/she would have already told me. Besides..  I was whatsapp-ing her/him in the morning and she/he seemed fine to me. Dont get the sudden "condition" that the person mentioned.

Seriously... _l_  to you. You don't have any, not even a tiny bit of respect from me. I swear I'll make sure you get so fucked if you ever try to contact me again. DISGUSTING BEING. STAY AWAY FROM MY LIFE EEWWWW.

More than this.

I'm broken, do you hear me?
I'm blinded, cos' you are everything I see.

I'm dancing, alone. 

I'm praying, that your heart would just turn around.

And as I walk up to your door

My heart turns to face to floor 

I can't look you in the eyes and say

..

I can love you more than this. 

Never knew I could be this lucky to get another sports elective la!!! OMG i don't have to camp in front of my com to get this elective. So yeah, I got my bball elective and I'm too happy!!  way too happpppyyyy. Its the only lesson that I look forward to every week. my school life lack of interest/excitement. My weekends are burnt from studying. No social life for 3 months in exchange for a good future? bet hella its an awesome idea #nopainnogain.

Gna have my 3 hours lecture later and then BASKETBALL!!! WOOHOOOOO. <3

#sidetrack, sometimes I really wished I had someone to talk to. at times I really want to ignore the entire world and be in self denial.

xxxx

I don't get it. I need answers. Night time paranoid symptoms, needa catch some sleep before the small crazy part of my mind turns into a monster and takes full control. Goodnight, xo!

Voice thoughts

I just did a random cover h3h3. I don't have a good vocal but I love to sing. Judge if you want to, I'm happy singing. I don't have the time to hate :)

I spent my night in an enclosed area with loud musics and crazy lightings that almost blind my vision.  It was then that I realised why I disliked clubbing. I watched how girls throw themselves at guys. (I had a really good view of the dancefloor). I like to dance, be it choreo dance or anyhow whack shake butt dance. But at least dance with some self respect? like erm, dance inside a circle of good guys friends to prevent unknown hands in. now THAT is fun dancing, to me. I really hope and PRAYYYYYYYY that my kids won't do that. As in, I would allow them to club and have some fun but I don't want guys' hands all over my daughter. #motherthinking

A few more weeks to enjoy before sem starts!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Need. To. Have. Some. Serious. Fun. Gonna catch The Dark Knight Rises later!! woohooo be green, love mother earth, BYE! <3 

Owls

I think owls are the cutest animal on earth. Big eyes, retarded head rotation motion, small body... only spells cute hehe. I was burnt from the Alumni match yesterday..... :( But the burnt is worthy :) Had so much fun with my fav team mates la. though we lost like EVERY SINGLE match hahahahha, I could never be any happier to lose with them :D GO SR BBALL TEAM 2010!!!!!!!! <3  I'm gna be brewing at dte cafe later!!! WOOHOOOOOOOO. paid on the spot, how kool. Save Gaia, love owls. muahhh.

hehe, hi! soooooo this is me and my burnt face in my uniform.

Swear the uniform is the most uncomfortable uniform ever :( its so fitting. I don't like fitting tops. Makes my pits uneasy. Someone pity my pits. 

trying to rock the uniform. woah damn is my room messy.

K BAI!!! I'm gna head to work. hheheheheh excited much. oh, yea i changed the layout for wamwam. OWLS <3 

I'm waiting for 1.30pm............ so,hi!

I don't know why is my tagboard still flooded with so many nonsense. Last day of work at taka on thurs! WOOHOOOOOOO. Nothing can explain the feelings I'm having right now. been at taka for the past 2 months and the experience I had was erm, priceless haha. I got scolded by an Indian male customer "barbie" because I told him that I can't offer him the 20% discount, I've learnt to lie in a nice way, I can stand for 8 hours straight now... hehe. And if you guys wondered how's life been for the past 2 months, well... I can summarized it in a simple phrase.

Wake up > Work > Sleep.

yea my past 60 days were like that. no keed.

I wanted a Retail job but erm, this was not what exactly I had in mind... On a happier note, i'll be back brewing coffee at Kallang mac on 18th July!!!! :D:D:D:D can you feel the joy in meeeeeeeeeee hehehehehehheheheheh. Cafe is still the best job for me, so far.

so....... GOOD BYE SQUAREISH LIMITED SPACE DEPARTMENT STORE AND HELLO COFFEE MAKING <3

Many stuff happened for the past few weeks. Happy and unhappy stuff, new and old stuff. This sem is so gonna be different with this stuff happening/happened. then again, school's only starting on 13th aug......................... i'm so going to have my fun before school starts! its a must!!!!!!!!!!!!! will be back on 28th HEHE. BAI!!!!!!! love you guys who still read wamwam :)

"God bless my grandma"

You'll be fine for me right grandma? 

hehe so i've been working my ass off for the past week. Finally gotten a job after like 3 weeks of massive interviews lollllll. since ive got time to spare, i'm here!! :D WITH PICTURES, HAHA. for the past 3 weeks before I got myself a job.... I've been busy with interviews, shopping, job hunting, celebrating pohling's 20th, shopping, getting my hair done, jayesslee's concert, high tea and more shopping :D 

guess i'm 2 weeks late but nevertheless, JAYESSLEE's CONCERT WAS AWESOME!!!!! We had the front seat so the view was so damn good la. hehe worth my 81 bux :D 

anw, i think the pictures would be bombed with myself and pohling and only pohling because i've been spending my 3 weeks of jobless days with her haha. 

Thats pohling. My shopping + hair + Kbox + sushi buffet kaki. hehe <3

That was us going to John Little. 

and then since i've got like what, 12 sessions of pendicures.... I decided to pamper my poh.. 

man look at my musfatcles. 

After which was her birthday!!!! Qiyuan got her a meet-the-nat-ho session. PS: she's a self-proclaimed numbo 1 nat ho's biggest fan whom spelt his name as nag ho. sure his biggest fan.

At the event. I swear that girl had that smile on her face for the whole hour? 

 Me: eh if nat ho put his arms over your shoulder you just grab him by this waist ok!!
Poh: hahahahah omg ok!!!!! 

and hence,

after that picture... I was expecting a "OMG!!!!!!! SO SHUANG" or something along that line but guess what his number 1 fan said?

Poh: OMG. I GRABBED HIS FATS

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH 

reckon anyone would read this la but so much for his number one fan. i grabbed his fats. 

I brought her to some high tea place at far east the next day :) 

the face i always give when poh start to waste her food. 

Lepak at cafe... and then jiaqi and charlotte came down to surprise her with her "cake".. 

:D 

OH. results are out. and i guess im pretty satisfied with it? I cant wait to graduate though. I cant wait to teach!! 

:) BYE!!! gotta prepare for my lifeless 2 months job. man im working 6 days a week and my only off day is on wednesday. tell me about life. SEE Y'ALL :D 

I've got 30mins to spare so I'm here again hehe. Anw I'm gna state 10 random facts about myself. Haha it's not like anyone would read this anyways so yep here I goooooooooooooo! fact#1, I can't be bothered to make my bed. Haha in fact Ive never once make my bed when Im up. Fact#2, I don't think I'm a looker. As in I feel that people would stare at my hair or my clothes or shoes k mostly my hair. Never my face. Fact#3, I've only like sporty stuff when I was 17. So ya for 16 years of my life I've been a guniang and missed out great deals then. Fact#4, I don't have bestfriend, only best friends. Fact#5, I used to hate making new friends. Fact#6, I've always think that lesbians are hot. Fact#7, i'm attracted to cute guys hahahahahahaha fuck. Fact#8, my friends are always my first priority. Friends before boyfriend yo :). Fact#9, k I got to go cus poh here so shall leave y'all with 8!!!!!! Hehe

show you some face.

woke up a tad bit early for school.

I can't freaking wait for holidays to come!!!!!!!! I needa earn more moolah for my braces and tats and shoe and laptop cover and hair treatment :( Poh suggest SIA but ben&jerry sounds as interesting. I really wanted to go for the Jayeless' concert but omgosh it got all sold out after a day the tix were released. WTFUUUUUUUUUUUUU. OH!!! my mum allows me to travel with my friends! fexcited. Phuket is calling for meeeeee woohoooo but damn my mum HAD to scare me by saying that Phuket's dirty. dirty as in G-dirty. nothing scares me more than that, i swear. thats my biggest biggest biggggggggggggggggggest fear ever. i'd rather be pierced through thick needles or being tortured by boiling hot water than to ever experience that. I've hated watching horror movie, in fact i think i only watched it like once? and the scene stayed in my head for like everrrrrrrr. think i was 16 then? but holyshit i still remembered EVERYTHING. OK ITS TIME FOR SCHOOL BYE!!!! :D

VLOG!!!!!

please not this again.

papers.

calculator.

books.

study.

what's new.

morning!

i'm dreading every single school day ever since school started four weeks ago. im not saying that the modules im taking aint interesting.... its just that i dont have the mood for school? *read previous post* I really missed the secondary/jc times when I look forward to school or even if i dont, at least i still have friends to whine with.

OK. SAD STUFF ASIDE.

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i've got really nothing to update about leh. i miss eating mosmos :( but my usuals don't. MOS BURGER HAS THE NICEST FISH BURGER EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR. aiyo, k. i really dont have much to update or even talk about. looking forward for recess week though!!!! 2 more months and hellooooo to my 3 months of stressfree days!!!!! :D

speaking of stress free days, ITS AMAZING HOW TIME FLIES. most of my friends are graduating + getting their diploma soon!!! which meanssssssssssss, they will be out looking for job!!!! well unless they intend to further their studies but OMG LA. so fast!! turning 20. and then 3 years later i'll be out to the working world. im 5 years away from my dream. truth is, i cant wait to graduate? I suppose that teaching is much more interesting than studying? HEHE.

SHOULD I S/U SOCCER??!?!?! :( but, no one FAILS a sports module. then again, I CAN ALWAYS BE THE FIRST. HAHAHAHHA SHIIIIT, WHY DID I EVER TAKE SOCCER IN THE FIRST PLACE. okkkk, actually i did learn some techniques in soccer and i look less retarded kicking the ball now.................... but its so stressful to learn the tricks and techniques in only 13 weeks!!!!

I know it's been a very long time since I've typed smth here soooooooo, hi!!! 新年快乐 :) I'm in school, waiting for my lecture to start, alone.. Very much explains why I'm here. I've been going to school alone, heading to most lecture alone, attending most tutorials alone and I'm fixing this project stuff alone. Haha I sound pathetic don't I? Hmm. I guess I'm dealing with it quite well ? I'm not in any state of depression yet hehe, independence ftw! I'm a bit angst over the project part though. Can I say it here? Ok fine I shall since only yuanyun sihui jiaqi and sometimes pohling/xiuwei reads my poor wamwam. Define group project > well GROUP work, GROUP discussion. And Im kinda doing the stuff alone despite me asking. No one bother to take the initiative to ask me about my idea and all was like "ok done go with joelyn's idea". I was expecting someone to ask me something about it. Like cmon, my idea is not that perfect?? Ok perhaps they FOUR think that my idea is flawless.... If it's so flawless why can't the damn thing work. Hahahaha omg I sound so pissed. Ok la, I find the idea interesting but I really cant get the model to work!!!!! If it does I swear it's amazing. I've spent a good 10mins ranting on that and Ive got 30mins to goooooooooooooo. Soccer was fun!!! Made a few friends here and there and they were very patient and nice with me :) goalkeeper training tomorrow hahahahaahhahaah I like to dive but pls no bruises or ball-faced. My granny treats me best and happy 44th mummy dearest. Loveyou:)

Vlog,

Rio.

Rio de janeiro, Brazil.

I fell in love with this state after watching Rio. you know the cartoon blue cute bird movie?

yea this one?

and then CSI had an episode at Rio itself. OMGOSH THE STATE IS FREAKING BEAUTIFUL. the beach............ the buildings...... the markets............

I wanna spend my 21st there, please mummy let me spend my 21st there :( i dont know if its me watching too much tv but Rio looks like a dangerous place to be in like with all the guns and bad guys. OH!!!! FAST FIVE WAS ALSO FILMED AT RIO TOO! its an awesome show, think that show gave me the "omg rio is a fucking dangerous state with all the guns" cause fast five is an actionpacked movie where the characters come together to catch bad guys with a lot of fighting and guns in their sibei zai modified cars and skills la. LOL.

OKKKKKKKK ITS JUST ME BUT I REALLY WANNA GO RIO.

so...... I spent my countdown at erm cafe HAHA yeah boring, but it beats sleeping at home i guess. stayed all the way till 8am and i totally knocked out when i reached home. i fucking woke up at 6pm please HAHA. school's starting in a weeks' time. needa mug real hard for this sem! no pain no gain!!!!!! :D

anw, random but i think its good to believe and have faith in something. idk man, im a free thinker and all i have faith is in .... nothing? its kinda sad that all i can depend on is myself. as in like, when you're in need there's no one to turn to? I have no Gods to pray to, no Gods to thank when some miracles happen. I do believed in miracles and miracles are (to me) some magical events that are made/created by Gods. i dont know how to explain myself but bottomline is that i feel its good to believe in something specially when you need miracles to happen. then again, free thinker ftw. #contradicting ok shuddap.

oh,i'm turning 20.

yay?